How to charm anyone

‘You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.’ Dale Carnegie

Poor social skills are probably the biggest reason for people failing in life or even losing their jobs. Being charming is a major social skill. If you can master the art of winning people over, you can improve your odds of success in every area of life. Over eighty per cent of your success in business and personal life will be determined by your ability to communicate effectively with others.

If you can learn to make people like you, your path to success will be easier, faster, and more enjoyable – both for you and everyone you deal with. Charm is essentially social intelligence, and like the other primary forms of intelligence – mental, physical, and emotional – the more social intelligence you have, the better.

I believe that both emotional and social intelligence can be learned. You can learn to be a warm, friendly, likeable and charming individual. Here are some suggestions:

1. Show acceptance
The greatest gift you can give other people is the attitude of unconditional positive regard. You can exude a lot of charm by letting the other people know that, although there may be points at which you fail to agree, your fundamental opinion of them is positive. Smiling is the best way to show acceptance. The self-esteem of people rises automatically when you smile with happiness at seeing them. They feel happy about themselves. This also makes them feel important and valuable.

2. Show admiration
Whenever possible, authentically boost people by telling them that you admire them. Everyone likes a compliment. Make every effort to identify some characteristic or quality that you genuinely admire in them – then tell them! Almost everyone has something that can be admired. Search for that quality. A sincere compliment is ten times more powerful than a false one.

3. Show approval
Throughout life, all humans have a deep unconscious need for approval of their actions and accomplishments. People never grow tired of compliments as long as they are sincere. When somebody does something well or good, let them know that you noticed.

4. Show appreciation

It is said that the biggest of all human needs is the need to be appreciated. When someone does something nice for you – big or small – say thank you. Saying thank you is more than merely uttering the words. It’s about making eye contact and showing true appreciation by your tone of voice.

5. Give attention
This is probably the most important area in which you can improve your charm. Your full attention is the most valuable gift that you can give to another person. When you pay close attention to other people, you make them feel more valuable and important. The more valuable and important you make them feel, the more they’ll like you. Energy flows where your attention goes.

Charming people continuously exhibit these characteristics. They are always positive, optimistic, cheerful and, most importantly, interested in other people. These are very attractive attributes.

People want to do business and have relationships with people that they like and trust. If you decide to improve your social intelligence and skills by learning to be more charming, you will undoubtedly achieve success faster. People will like you and that will make everything you do easier.

‘Charisma is a fancy name given to the knack of giving people your full attention.’ Robert Brault